Fear is NOT a Factor for You...Or Is It?

Since Girl Power Hour is in the middle of their 3rd Annual Mind-Body Challenge  I thought tackling the large phantom force of fear would be very appropriate.

Fear takes different forms for each of us. Some of us pretend we are not afraid of anything and others can’t make a move without finding something that scares them. I, perhaps like you, am somewhere in-between.

I came to this conclusion after seeing a commercial for the new season of Fear Factor a few months back. Fear Factor has always been a show that I have a hard time watching. And despite it’s reappearance on NBC this year, I still have yet to watch a single episode.

Bear in mind, this has nothing to do with Joe Rogan. How could it? He is a stand-up comedian, UFC host, and co-producer of the documentary, DMT: The Spirit Molecule (which highlights the potent psychedelic compound found in nearly every living organism); Who is this guy?! Obviously, not a scaredy-cat.

Unlike me, I can’t watch the show mainly because it’s scary. Yes, I am afraid of Fear Factor. In light of that confession, it is obvious that I could never eat a snake while underwater with my ankles tied to an eel-infested shark tank.

But do you know what scares me more than snake tartar in an eel-laden pool?  Letting people down.

OK, I know. This may sound like one of the biggest mistakes in the nice-girl handbook (especially in mine) How can we expect to get anywhere successfully if we care what other people think about us? But, this isn’t about being a pushover or wanting to impress others, instead it is about learning the importance of saying what’s on our minds when we have the chance to say it. Missing moments to do so can result in a whole underworld of misunderstanding.

I recently missed a moment of truth that led to a misunderstanding between a friend. This experience left me wondering what is worse? Being disliked or being unlikable?

While that may sound a little bit like the ‘chicken-or-the-egg’ ideology, here is what I mean. Being disliked is unavoidable- there are always going to be people that won’t like you regardless of what you have or haven’t done. Becoming unlikable happens when you change who you are or what you know to be right in order to avoid a conflict. Being intentional about every word we say (or don’t say) is a big part of becoming better women.

Fear of man (or woman) fuels a propensity to become chameleons. And while that skill is wonderful for Joe Rogan and many other names on the Hollywood walk of fame- it doesn’t serve us well in the reality of interpersonal one-on-one relationships. Stick to one skin- the one you are in.

Never fear being disliked- only fear making yourself unlikable by withholding the whole truth. Being true to you always outweighsbeing someone else for appearances.

Whether it is your health, your body, or your mind- don’t be afraid of becoming the absolute best version of you possible. Keep in mind that you may need to go through a few revisions to get it right. You 2.0? Totally legit.

PS- In my estimation, it is OK to fear snakes, eels and sharks (or a combo of all 3) That’s just common sense.

Nice Girls 60-Day Challenge, Day 42: Be Righteously Offensive

This may seem like a strange challenge for today, but it is something that I have always struggled with. People pleasing, agreeing just to be agreeable, and going along with something even if you don't believe in it- are not "nice" ways to behave. In fact, being dishonest about your convictions is simply lying.

Nice Girls Challenge Day 42: Be Righteously Offensive

The word "offensive" has such a negative connotation to it. Images of explicit graffiti, violent TV shows, and lewd photographs (Anthony Weiner anyone?) seem to shuttle across our minds. But have you ever been righteously offensive?

The word righteous is straight from the Bible and another word that we tend to shy away from- but did you know that nice girls must be offensive to those who think that behaving badly is their right? It may seem ambiguous- since your definition of right and offense may be drastically different from the girl in the next cubicle, but don't shy away from doing the right thing if you feel convicted to do so.

Someone cut in front of the woman in the wheelchair? Be an advocate for them and notify them of their mistake.

Someone is degrading your belief system? Speak up about your convictions without faltering.

Someone is cussing in front of your child? Politely ask them to be more considerate.

Now don't go all "Housewives of New Jersey" on people you don't know very well or go looking for fights to pick with randoms at the mall- this is simply a reminder to be well versed in your beliefs, speak openly about why you live your life the way you do, and remember that being nice isn't simply being a pushover- it means to stand up for what you believe in.