This blog is courtesy of Project Motherhood NYC
I often wonder who I am, now that I am a mother.
Believe me, if I could gaze at my navel and drink Rooibos tea in
yoga pants all day I could come up with a very poetic way to explain the
changes that motherhood has made in me. But instead, I have a 20-month
old son who I swear drinks Red Bull when I am not looking. (How could
anyone have that much energy on a strict bean and pea diet? He is a
vegetarian Tasmanian devil I have decided.)
But seriously, who is this woman I see changing diapers at NASCAR
speed, licking her finger to wipe a stray smear of jam from her son’s
eyebrow, and giving up a girls night on the town to climb into bed by
9pm? Oh, well that’s me. And if you have young kids, I think that’s a part of you too.
My son loves the book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It’s
kind of a staple in all young children’s reading repertoire- right? His
favorite page, (aside from pretending to be eating all of the fruit and
junk food in the middle), is the end when the big fat caterpillar
becomes a beautiful butterfly. He squeals and tries to take the book out
of my hands so he can get a REALLY good look; (i.e.- smashes his face
into the crease of the book in fits of laughter).
I think that’s my favorite part of the book as well, because its my
favorite part of motherhood too. We get to go from these large “with
child” versions of ourselves to these almost unrecognizable
sacrifice-savvy supermoms. The term supermom is so overused- but all
moms have an element of the supernatural. Because the super-power to love someone more than ourselves is the
greatest of all.
I will be the first to say it doesn’t come easy all the time. In
fact, I constantly think I am doing something wrong when my nearly-two
toddler throws a tantrum over a broken straw in the checkout line (he is
obsessed over straws, who knew?) or he isn’t speaking enough words to
constitute as an average kid his age. All of these standardized
milestones, check-ups and timelines are enough to tire any mom out who
is just trying to keep it together; who is just trying to follow her
gut, and love like only she can.
When Allison asked me to guest blog for Project Motherhood, my self-help author “hat” wanted to go on.
I thought, I should compile a list of ways to discipline in love. Or maybe I should write about how to get your kid to sleep through the night, or maybe I
should just be honest about how much I love watching cartoons now
without having to make excuses for it. Tangled- I heart thee.
We don’t know each others landscape of life. We can’t possibly
believe that all children are innately the same. They all have different
gifts, different struggles, different developmental delays and
excellencies. They grow at different rates, become dependent at
different timelines, and emerge as little people with their own
personalities just as we are still trying to figure out who we are as
However, I will say this. Don’t compare. Stop reading
articles on how your kid should be, and start paying attention to who he
or she is. Children need fans in the stands. So when you are having a
tough day or simply aren’t sure if this whole motherhood thing fits you
right, just remember who you are- you are their mom.
And that is enough to make me certain that I am just who I need to be- and so are you.